so explain again why im purple
no
I want Jason Statham to talk British to my vagina.
New scientific discovery: The hypothetical attractiveness of a woman increases exponentially as her skirt:boot ratio approaches zero. Nobel Prize in my future?
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
he laminated a picture of his dick.
Getting drunk before noon on a Tuesday. When did this become my life? Did you know that a six-pack of Smirnoff is 2 liters?
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
Sorry I didn't answer your call last night, I was peeing on the driveway.
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
Can I tell you that I just incorporated the spice girls in my sexting and you not judge me
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
You randomly sent me a black Santa Claus emoji at 2am. I think alcohol was involved.
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
See I insist I'm not a groupie and then I say things like "will bang for a backstage pass".
Let’s try it, I’ve never had a bad time with sex, tacos and beer.
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