she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
How does one fall all the way up a flight of stairs? Its hard on me knowing that the survival of our species depends on me not reproducing.
What did you wear last night? Because I'm pretty sure there are atleast 4 Facebook statuses about your walk of shame.
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
I think its safe to assume that the 40yr old undergraduate with purple and pink in her hair and a tattoo of the eiffel tower above her ass crack has never actually been to Paris...
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
You're the only person I know who would be upset about making out with a girl you like. You're like a drunken Charlie Brown.
Fyi your toilet is not contaminated. We'd have to scissor pretty hard to pass what I got.
Don't forget the part about the bar bathroom stumbles.
Oh damn, you're right. I have to include that. You turned off all the lights with your head. That was impressive.
He's listening to "my heart will go on" by himself in the living and its not even noon. MAKE IT STOP.
I tried to prevent a bar fight. By convincing a guy whacked out on Molly to slap the ass of everyone who was arguing and shout "WOO" each time. I'm proud, surprised, and intrigued that it calmed everyone down so quickly...
if i do community service solely to impress a guy, everyone wins, right?
except your soul
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
Randomize
