i hope you realize that ur overconfidence only gave me one orgasm out of all the times we had sex. that's like a 1% success rate. u might wanna rethink how amazing you are.
No one actually likes Tequila. They just accept it as a fact of life. Like hpv.
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
He just showed up at my house and was like "have you seen an axe laying around?" he wasnt wearing any shoes.
I'm riding shot gun after Shawn took a dump in a happy meal box because we were making record time.
Know of anyone who would be interested in trading weed for meatballs?
She was purple for Halloween. She literally spray-painted herself purple and called it a costume. It won't come off.
you were making out with a guy that looked like Fat Albert, I kicked you in the vagina but you didn't stop
I had a face to face conversation with her vagina, asking it not to make me look bad.
i woke up to you and that girl going out onto the balcony naked
oh sorry man.. we went outside because we DIDN'T want to wake you
he had shaved armpits. I repeat: HE SHAVED. HIS. ARMPITS! First hookup of 2014 and it's with a weirdo. Alcohol:1 Me:0
Why am I cleaning the house twerking to anaconda wearing a bears jersey and helmet?
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
Right?? Give me some apple scented candles and I'm a fall wet dream
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
Randomize
