I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
i don't care how ready and willing she is. she is where penises go to die
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
pretty sure 5 days for a bachelor party in Vegas is too long when even the stripper giving me a lapdance says "wow that's a long time!"
Also, no joke, I think that raccoon hair is still in my eye from last night.
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
just imagine me sitting naked on a toilet with a fully-clothed dude i havent seen in 2 years, trying to make normal conversation except that im covered in blood and he's helping wipe me down while i try not to pass out because blood makes me NERVOUS. And he's apologizing and i'm apologizing.
Cause I'll toss Tabasco sauce in his eyes and yell "Cobra attack" and walk away
The cops wrote boobs in the police report. ...vandalism is our calling
Just realized I chose a bacon cheeseburger over sex last night
Even his sexts are poetic. He said breasts instead of tits so I'm gonna lock this shit down asap
can we drink soon
I'm not sure who this is but I'm free tomorrow night
Definitely went to court without a bra and panties because Mr. LastNight’s dog stole them. I guarantee you I was the only lawyer going commando in court
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