Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
i dont care if i have to wear a pillow case, there will be an open bar at my wedding
Soo I got blood taken today and when the doctor came back with the results she said "you aren't sick but the tests show that you are currently drunk..."
I thought you were single?
I am. But thats cuz no one wants to marry shame and regret doused in tequila. But thanks for reminding me ya dick.
Dude. I'm busy doing PR for America. FOR AMERICA. Europeans think we can't handle liquor.
You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.
in the future when you find clothing in your street, just assume it's mine.
I'm resourceful. I forgot we don't have coca cola so now I'm drinking Jack & Dew or Mountain Daniels. Also, I haven't decided on an official name yet for this drink. I'm leaning toward Jack & Dew
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
I hate ovaries. They're horrible little sacs of satanic enmity.
That's the most poetic description of female anatomy I've ever heard.
stop fucking thinking about him when there is A MILLION OTHER PENISES TO RIDE IN THE WORLD
NOBODY TALKS SHIT ABOUT PANDA EXPRESS
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
In my defense, the second lapdance I gave was because of a dare.
Ik youre sleeping but fyi its 5:32am I'm sitting in the middle of the road bra less and shoeless with boxers in my hand and no ride. Shits real crazy.
Randomize