Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
I told him "thank you for wearing a turtleneck yesterday, I no longer have a strong erg to have sex with you. " He is no longer speaking to me.
I have three paper towels stuck up my vagina. This is not a time to be calm.
I'm naked in the window of the hotel and I feel like I'm walking in slow motion like a robot
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
I don't deserve a penis
When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.
Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off
Today I left one job interview, showed up randomly at his house for a midday bootycall then left right after to attend my second job interview. I got both jobs
Are you kidding me????? How bout, IM SORRY FOR CALLING YOU 16 TIMES AND LEAVING YOU A TWO MINUTE VOICEMAIL OF MYSELF THROWING UP.
this old dude from the bar is giving me a ride home in a van, his bumper sticker says " don't laugh your kids could be in here" scary world ou here
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
ever bang a guy wearing an $800 suit? today you will.
I feel like this is something I should shave my legs for
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
Then, even the devil himself would be scared of us. And we'd be bestfriends with Jesus. He would love us.
Randomize
