weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
Guess what I'm doing tomorrow?
Becoming a productive member of society?
Sam. Come on.
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
The girls we hooked up with were hammered, pushing each other in a shopping cart into the sushi place and through the restaurant... One's a volunteer EMT. God help her patients.
Woke up to a bottle of gatorade and a packet of saltine crackers tied to underwear hanging from my ceiling fan, along with 3 advil stuck to a piece of duct tape and a note saying "have a happy hangover- <3 you/me"
Drunk you is pretty stunner.
You sent me a picture of you holding a goat then asked me if I would have day sex
I literally just fucked insane clown pussy. 24 yo nut job moonlights at children's parties. Gave me head while still in full clown makeup from my kid's birthday party.
So both cops helped talk her into coming back into the bar and doing a shot with me. The main argument being, "a bar is no place to be sober!"
He handed me a temporary tattoo and said cover the hickey up with this
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED
We need to get walkie talkies for when we're drunk so if we are at different parties or lost we can talk
Randomize
