yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
hey sry I lost all my numbers who is this?
pat the guy you slept with
still need a last name
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
I can't believe all the places I got into shoeless last night. Apparently no one will say no to a girl covered in paint with a ripped shirt
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
Okay. We're coming naked. We need Saran wrap and plastic forks.
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
I just...no. You make my soul cry. You are giving me karma-cancer. This torture of my majesticness can no longer be tolerated.
My arrest report says I was found in midtown "performing lewd and lascivious acts on top of art meant for public display and enjoyment".
We found him flat on his back, sobbing, 'fuck you stars' at the sky. No more everclear for Derek.
The single life is the freaking dream dude. I'm sitting here naked, eating chocolate mousse, and watching Gilmore girls. It's wonderful
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
i had fun fun last night, with the exception of you running over my foot with your car. makes a great story for my first one night stand.
Randomize
