You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
everyone is single if you try hard enough
My penis is bigger than his and I don't even have a penis.
He just made his dick say "woof" and howl at me. can you pick me up?
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
I'd be a gr8 surrogate. I'm gonna love your fetus
Mom just posted ur drunk pix from Cancun in the newly made "My not-so-fantastic son" album. Thought you should know.
Three guys came up to me at the bar and started dancing on me, while screaming "Johnson's girl." That's the last time I sleep with a freshmen.
So I bought some random chick a shot she puked in her hands then I watched her make out with my roommate
OH DEAR GOD. He looks like if u licked him he'd taste like bourbon, sex and sunshine.
Omg just had weirdest best cab advice situation ever. I kissed the cabbies hand as I was leaving like he was the pope and cried
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
Have you ever just sat there and thought about past penises?
Randomize
