yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
I'm having a chugging contest on the streetcar. The driver is judging.
Plus someone just passed me a joint through the window. BEST STREETCAR RIDE EVER
Apparently the library doesn't care about celebrating the day Jesus became a zombie.
Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
you really dont want me to drink and drive. you saw what i did to my face and that was only from walking
I spent an hour trying to convert bar outfits to church outfits. Its hard.
I couldn't get past the raccoon on my porch so i slept on my lawn.
I just found the gloves and lightbulb I stole. Did you pee on a ATM inside a bank?
I'm like five sips away from making a Craigslist post for true love and mustaches. My family is going to disown me tonight.
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
i just called dibs on the taxi driver at the bar that isnt drinking. im a grown up
I got up and left his place at 3am because I remembered I had a burrito in my car.
"They won't do it. I'm in the middle of darkness. " and "Probably going to die. I've been walking for 50 minutes in one direction" are the last texts I got from Steve
Randomize