I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
i'm in his bathroom *freshening up* and he not only has a hairdryer... but a straightener. get me out of here... NOW
make sure i look cute passed out on the couch.
yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
just balanced a champagne glass on my gut. thanks to beer im a living breathing tempur-pedic mattress.
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
I suppose drinking a cosmo at lunch alone can't look good but I mean... sometimes it's just necessary
I found what appears to be half an E pill and part of a tooth in my pocket this morning
"Shots" of grape juice. I fucking hate Utah soooo fucking much.
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
Don't you realize there's more to life than sex and pizza rolls?
So he says to my dad "I'll pull out of your daughter but I'm not going to apologize". Yea, my night was fun.
I'm glad we can *facepalm* it together over the married couple we fucked separately.
Bro, it was an EPIC night once again last night. I’m so sorry that you saw me naked.
Dude i woke up today by a pile of fried chicken and wearing a bra
.......stop going to frat parties....
Randomize
