apparently it's not kosher to shit in a litter box when there's a line for the bathroom
She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work.
She's the hottest girl I've ever seen before and didn't lose her virginity until she was 19. As men, I take it as failure on our part that hot 19 year old virgins still exist.
I'm at breakfast at my kid's school and I have noted at least 3 other parents with last night's red wine mouth and bleary eyes. I don't know why I always get so paranoid.
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
And then he told me he was too tired for me to suck his dick. Physically and mentally too tired for me to suck his dick. What the fuck?
My attorney has my name in her roldex as need to hit that. Im gonna win my case
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
I am not working on the very first day I can throw up alcohol that I legally bought and drank.
When I was hooking up with this guy last night all I could think about was if we were in Game of Thrones... I need to stop doing drugs
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
Babe, I'm gunna be straight with you. When you act like a dick it makes me regret not fucking my manager last week.
Maybe the "i killed someone" and "tequila makes my clothes come off" comments freaked him out.
I suppose writing him up is more professional than keying his car.
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
Randomize
