dude, best porn name ever, "the Hunt for Red Cocktober"
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
My night consisted of weed, sex, and Mexican food. In that order. I think we found the keys to saving our marriage.
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
dude to be honest with you there is a used condom that ive just left on my floor for three days
you have got to get your shit together
STOP TELLING PEOPLE I PEED ON YOU
We definitely need to avoid these "I'm gonna get stabbed if I stay here any longer" partys
I THINK I JUST JOINED A GANG. PLEASE PICK ME UP.
Hell hath no fury like a woman whose gay sidekick you insult
Anddon't worry about me I have my Darth Vader flashlight
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
Ultimate cock block. About to have sex and your mom calls you so you can go help your grandmother figure out how to vote for the voice on her iPad
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
We had everything under control until this one jackass fucked up. Thanks, Peter.
he went down on me and a few minutes later he asked to show me a magic trick. then he pulled a quarter out of my vagina
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