I guess I should mention that I have already fucked the Fed Ex guy.
That changes everything.
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
just found a piece of pizza in my dresser.....i remember you saying you were going to save one for later so i'm assuming this is your doing
Wake up, take the dog to the trails, puke in the woods. More days should start like this.
We have a pile of chopped wood here that suggests we may have chopped down a tree of some sort.
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
I'm confident that their children would come out as 100% authentic rats
She's cute. And her snoring noises remind me of the incidental music from Jaws.
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
I threw up off of your balcony and it must have been loud because the dog downstairs went insane.
CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR COME ON MAN LET'S DO THIS
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
Well I just masturbated while reading a recipe for Alfredo sauce so I guess you could say I’m growing up
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
Ok, as his sister I didn't tell you this but he's very familiar with pregnancy symptoms. So next time he calls you fat freak him the hell out by asking if your ankles look swollen.
Randomize