Solid performance last night. Wanna be fuck buddies?
He gets you donuts, dinner, and booze consistently, who cares if he's cheating
plus shes a stripper, ive been with strippers, if you fuck this up your penis will never forgive you
Everything tastes like hotdogs and shame.
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
I tackled a mailbox like a linebacker. He almost broke his hip and his friend lit a bottle rocket off inside of the car. Yes it was a successful night.
He made me sneak beer in the diaper bag... guess who is winning 2012 parents of the year
I'm really having trouble focusing on shark week with this erection
There is a drunk marine passed out on my porch. Mandy wouldn't sleep with him, Can you please come remove him?
I had to convince someone last night that the fact that he couldn't get me off wasn't him it was me and to clarify I had to tell him there was only. One person that got me off every time without fail, he said "that guy is my hero" you should be proud
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
I just drunk texted the Italian guy and now I’m flooded with Shane. Uh, shame, not Shane. He sounds nice, though.
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
He just stopped in the middle of undressing for sex to dip his slice of pizza in ranch. I think I’m in love.
Randomize
