I give out O-faces like they're halloween candy
i never realize how drunk i am until i start using people as human stripper poles
you poured 3 beers into an empty vase and then passed out, so i drank them for you. don't say i'm not a good friend.
Our cab driver just admitted to beating up kids in the 60's who didn't smoke pot...
Hey man thanks for carrying me in and out of that frat house. There's no I in team.
Semen is not good for contacts.
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
Well, I looked over and you and him were each making out with a fireman. And then you switched. And you probably spent an hour like that.
He was taking the condom off and he turns to me and says, "You know how snakes can shed their skin?"
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
your house isnt even gonna be on google maps after this party
guys with girlfriends don't have a leg to stand on when they get mad at you for fucking other guys
Dont even get me started. you fell asleep in my kitchen after being cockblocked when you tried to use my roommates bedroom.
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
Christ I forgot how flexible you need to be for a decent sext pic. Jesus.
Randomize
