You're so nebulous sometimes
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
It's been 5 months since I last wore a condom.
Not including when spray tanning
He leaned in to kiss me and I dodged him but i fell on the floor. I guess I never got up cuz I woke up on the floor and he was in his bed
Need your help. He's locked himself in the bathroom with his bong and his childhood collection of Goosebumps books.
Just got motor boated by a horse in the street
And I kind of want to stare at skinny jonah hill like a weird zoo exhibit lol.
I just sneezed and it made my entire body ache. Hungover is an understatement
Last I saw, they went for a smoke and only one came back. He passed out outside. I'm glad he's only 120lbs. I left him on the rug still. My mom is gonna be pissed.
I just smoked a bowl with the lady who runs the special olympics. Your move.
The whole bar erupted and in happiness and confusion as I went on about pancakes.
I'd like to preapologize if you or your mom see me naked at some point this weekend.
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
Actually I learned to fire a 357 Magnum at the age of ten while on my very first period
I visited the library for the first time in my college career tonight and I got laid. I think I'm gonna come back...
Randomize
