That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
I don't think of it as I'm taking a pole dancing class...its more like I'm making myself recession proof
Ima go for a jog. and I'm going to jog until I throw up a lung. then I'll crawl home.
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
I fucking love my neighbors. I offered him chocolate and somehow it turned into a sexual proposition.
I can't tell if my bong is gender-neutral or not
It's six am and her daughter just walked in on her mom and roomful of naked people playing strip spoons. glad Im apart of that childhood memory....
I spent a good part of the night in a bear hat claiming I'd changed spieces
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
Last 4 google searches: class c felony, scary ghosts, peanut butter jelly time, Lindsey lohans vagina
You are, as of last night, the self declared king of pooping. Long may you reign.
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