girl you didnt miss much. except me passing out for 3 hours AT JOBBIE NOONER on some random's boat. i was topless, then completely naked. heard girls were throwing ice cubes at me. i was useless. remember nothing.
is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
the pizza man had no reaction when jackie and me opened the door naked, i guess he's used to that shit
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
Do you know how difficult it is to give head to someone who's imitating Forrest Gump?
I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.
You're getting spoiled, you better send me at least a side boob pic if you wanna see my dick dressed up as Davie Crockett.
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
Guess who just sucked off 1/5 of one direction?
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
What can I say I sleep with 40 year old Cougars because my mother gave me away at birth and apparently that's why says my therapist
On the brightside we know now that empty pringle cans are accepted at mcdonalds as cups.... Screw people who judged us, we saved a buck
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