I dont know why I dont listen to you more often. He wont stop texting me. And his signature is "dancing with no panties on"
He had one of those small greek statue penises
I bought a goldfish, named it after my ex-girlfriend, and let it die. It's really the little things in life.
and i looked up. we had an audience...
what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
So how many shot glasses of coffee grounds make a pot?
I got us a lift home. Payment may require me giving road head, are you cool just chilling in the back seat pretending to be oblivious to this happening?
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
My family will be here in an hour and I'm deciding between doing my makeup or saying fuck it and wearing what's left of last night's...
Oh great. I guess I'm second on that list now that we've confirmed she's not a lesbian AND that was her sister.
Her car is covered in frozen vomit, and she lost her iPhone. I'm also pretty sure I smoked crack last night. Rest in peace 2014.
He was so traumatized by the It's a small world ride but he immediately pulled out a flask from god-knows-where and got drunk before the ride was over. The ride operator didn't blame him.
Randomize
