Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
so my phone autocorrects 'retard' to 'retaaahd'. i LOVE being a masshole!
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
She saves ONE person's life while blacked out and now she's positive anything can be done "while fucking hammered"
I got drunk enough that when camel suggested jumping off the pier, I thought it was a fantastic plan. Also my blood hurts.
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
I'm high, watching "Scream" and eating a grilled cheese sandwich off my boobs. I'm not going anywhere
Come on, clusterfuck. Put on a pushup bra and get your fine ass to the bar, or you will be a sad single stoner forever
so I was eating out this girl who was wearing my pirate hat In an alley behind the bar last night and some girl walks up and takes a picture. apparently we had a crowd of about 10 and it turned her on so she just didn't tell me
i think my cat just said my name.
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
There's not really an emoticon that says "I'm sorry I honked your boobs, and that you weren't a fan of that."
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
Just waxed 95% of the hair off my vag. If he doesn't enjoy this tonight, you will, whether you like it or not.
Randomize