Where is the hickey?
And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
I shaved my pubes to make my cock look like it has a lions mane. to surprise the girl that works at the zoo when she comes over.
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
I can't believe i facilitated a beer for sweater vest deal last night...
so why was i the only one who woke up with ham stuck to my ass?
I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
I know you're aving fun across the room but I can clearly see you getting a handy. It's not as "low key" as she promised. Also, why are you texting while she's doing it?!
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
All I got was pictures of my boss and dicks. So, that was the end of snapchat.
Which one of you fucks put a bounty out on my brother's virginity?
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
I woke up this morning and my house is covered in shredded cheese with my laptop open and a google image search for "awesome shit".
So you realized he wasn't actually cheating on you and now you're trying to unfuck things. Or in this case unfuck Tom.
Granted, I did not plan to spend ANY hour of the last day of 2020 sober.
Randomize
