Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
this crazy girl in up in Dennys is going crazy because Bob Saget just texted her.
just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.
Why does it always end up with me crying in my car.
Drunk in my research methods class at 9:30 in the morning. We should do a quantitative analysis of my mimosa consumption.
I am both scared and jealous.
Friends bring friends secret work margaritas. my pink water bottle is in the cupboard
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
im trying to look as sober as possible but i just poured orange juice and mayo into my milkshake.
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
So I'm at early voting and the group of ladies behind me is talking about voting no on 2 and my gummy is kicking in, thank lawd
Holding your hair back while you puked wasn't a choice. I was handcuffed to you.
Youre a wreck. Youll be in your dorm weeping to project runway covered in pizza sauce and smelling of stale beer
Let’s try it, I’ve never had a bad time with sex, tacos and beer.
No dude 10 parakeets in your bedroom is 9 parakeets too many. Bring them back. Today!
When I told the bartender it was my 21st birthday, he looked at me all pissed and said "But you've been drinking here as 21 for the past 2 years.." How do you THINK the night went?
So I take it free shots were a no after that?
Randomize
