So my mouth tastes like dick. Does that explain how our talk went?
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
He had Jail Releases phone number programed into speed dial on his phone.
his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
I just caught myself watching and Irish step dance documentary in my underwear drinking nyquil through a straw at 2 in the afternoon. today's off to a good start.
Would it be considered cannibalistic if I wanted to eat off his bacon tattoo?
He simply fell in the fire, rolled out and continued to finish his bottle of vodka. Everyone else instantly sobered up just watching it.
I was stretching naked in the middle of my room singing "Somewhere Over the Rainbow", apparently this is what I do when I'm high and the wifi goes out
I'm not sure why, but my salad smells like a Big Mac. Or maybe that's just the smell of yesterday's, seeping through my skin.
Within the first 2 minutes of this morning, I found out the Lions lost on last play, and Scott Weiland died. I wont be in today.
Like I could say no to two hot people already naked and fucking. Please. I'm not made of stone.
Twice?!
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
i told them you weren't like that.. and they laughed at me?
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
Randomize
