Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
my iphone just auto-corrected drink to drnknghhhg...
I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
after the first blizzard, i went out and bought a thirty and put it in a cooler and hid it out in the backyard. now the second blizzard has deposited 2 feet of snow on top of said cooler. there is a shovel and treasure map over here waiting for you
All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
The universe is cradling this hangover like a gay couple cradles their newly adopted chinese baby.
Dude, did you know, your blood is contaminated with over 17 non-beer fluids?
HE'S BRINGING FRIED MAC AND CHEESE BITES. I GET FRIED MAC AND CHEESE AND SEX PEOPLE. BEST WEDNESDAY EVER.
BUT YOU MUST FINISH YOUR QUEST
TO FIND THE HOLY GRAIL
AND GET DRUNK OFF YOUR ASS BY DRINKING OUT OF IT
Hey by the way did you notice my third nipple in my snapchat
I don't get it. Why have babies when you can have vodka?
Just remember that no one else gets to suck his dick but you, feel honored. It's like the Olympic torch of life is being passed off to you and it's your time to run
He started talking about getting a puppy together. So of course I went down on him later
We already gave up cheese, how are we supposed to give up coke?
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
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