i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
The only thing I want to hear out of a girl's mouth tonight is, "slurp".
I watched the entire movie Forgetting Sarah Marshall before I realized it was in Spanish.
I swear it's like I have a jerk off quota I have to meet each week. If I miss three days I have a wet dream and it's like a wasted jizz, and it gets everywhereeeeeee.
Ive been home for 20 minutes and I'm already in bed with a vodka tonic
Just because Aaron is a gender neutral name does not mean I am letting you name your baby after a drug dealer
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
You're just jealous because you lost me and I ended up at another party licking Marshmallow Fluff bikinis off of lesbians.
Yeah, I've been trying to get him to eat healthier. Turns out he'll eat almost any fruit or vegetable as long I let him eat it off my body.
I feel like if you're funneling natty lights on a Wednesday at 2:30pm at the apartment complex pool during finals week, you probably don't have your priorities straight.
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
It was a successful conference for my sales and my sex life. Those are probably related
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
Randomize
