you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
Never write on a napkin "my face, your boobs" with your phone number and give it to a girl. Just a tip of the day from my nightly experiences lol.
We need to hang out more often
So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
so i woke up on my toliet naked backwards. good night.
why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
He's spent his last 3 years working at Urban Outfitters. No, I'm not sad I missed out on a life of mustaches, the dollar menu and shitty scarves.
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
im not trying to sound dramatic, but im covered in microwavable lasagna
No fucking judgements. You know me. Chinese food vent sessions are safe places.
I think my teeth are moving, they feel like people.
The next time we go out, we're bringing a jar so that people can contribute to the rest of what I need to come up with for my breast implants... We'll show them yours for inspiration and persuasion.
Somehow his homemade liquor activated memories of my semester abroad three years ago. I ended up yelling random medical advice in German, while my roommates played dress-up with the cat stoned out of their minds. I consequently gave up on dating. Back in the ONS game.
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
Randomize
