OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
it's like i warped into dreamland and the only thing that makes sense is my solo cup
Just saw the first guy i ever slept with in drag. I can hear my grandfather saying "i knew she was a lesbian" somewhere
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
The plane down was full of newly weds and I counted 5 pairs of mile high club members. Actually, one might have been a group membership discount.
We did Irish Car Bombs out of butter trays, the influence of the retired community is astounding- I didn't know people even owned more than one butter tray.
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
I'm giving drunk me full control of my body for the next few days. Please don't let me die.
it’s my vagina i can do what i want to
I’m going to hump him until his teeth hurt and then I’m going to have my way with him
Randomize
