I am in a vortex of obligation.
was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
I just tried to pee in a pad to see if it was like a diaper. it's not.
why are there post-it notes all around the apartment labeled where you guys had sex and in what position
He was drunk at Denny's at 5 am saying how Dear John was the worst movie he has ever seen... eyes filled with tears.
today i learned why jack sparrow loved rum so fucking much
Her father's a cardiologist, her mom's a lawyer...she just went from a 5 to a 10 real quick.
the sad thing is, im pretty sure she was serious about giving me head for my falafel
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
Grandma and I are gonna see the new Tarzan movie, because we both appreciate shirtless Swedish men
Doing the walk of shame from the back of a Jeep to the porta potty it's parked next to while your dad watches is not what you want.
She drunkenly texted me about Japanese mythology at four AM. I think I’m in love.
Don’t judge me
Some of us don’t have access to dick on a constant basis
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