What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
The sex toys I ordered are being shipped to my billing address instead of shipping address. Take a guess where they're on their way to right now - my parents' house. And the package has to be signed for so there's no way around it. Fuck.
what if every blade of grass was a penis?
we need blinds so i can safely watch porn during the day
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
Remember that time I tried to pierce your nipples while high... it's like that, only with more blood... and less nipples
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
All I know is when I checked my phone this morning google translate was open with "help the cow ate my robot" translated to French
He said I took his samurai sword off his wall and proceeded to jump off his porch at people coming home from the bar.
He meowed while sucking on my nipple, it got even weirder when he said he was trying to moo.
Did you happen to find my bra? I'm pretty sure I still had it on before we left that bar
Did you ever hear the story about the time I did blow in a bar bathroom with the #1 ranked golfer in the world?
I just saw your mom take a body shot off an undergrad, please tell me you're somewhere near by.
They think I fractured my spine while doing your cousin on concrete.
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
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