at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
I just saw a pregnant woman with a cigarette and a beer walking into the Larry the Cable Guy show. I'm glad my taxes are paying her medical expenses.
So I heard you only slept with me because you were drunk...is that true?
That depends on who this is.
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
You totally left a blue butt print on our banister
Well I think we can all agree that that's better than then bowl of puke I left last time.
The fact that its 10am on a gameday and I have yet to shotgun is absurd
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
YOU ARE NOT A BOTTLE OF RUM THEREFORE I DONT KNOW HOW TO LOVE YOU
It's George Washington's Birthday. Can you not put on some red white and blue and get really drunk for the original Merican??
I just want my birth control to stop making me feel like I'm watching baby seals get clubbed to death any time anything even remotely unpleasant happens lol
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
Just learned that the cute guy I've been flirting with at the beach this whole time is actually an inmate working in the community instead of being in prison.. My life is unreal
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
we bonded over knowing every word to freaky gurl by gucci mane so it’s kinda starting to make sense why I gave him head in his cul de sac
Dude I can't beleive you didn't wake up. I literally f'd her IN THE DISHWASHER. Btw I'm pretty sure I also kinda broke the dishwasher.
Randomize
