So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
And he just showed me his vera bradley wallet...
I'm also annoyed at my horoscope for not warning me of my perils
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
We just set the fire alarm off with a fog machine. What's my first instinct? Finish my drink. I think I handled that correctly.
My stomach literally has no contents left. Tequila cleanse=success.
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
Don't send the creepy guy a picture of your penis. That's my Christmas wish
I started singing I believe I can fly in the shower and it was like the first stage of insanity
I just sent my ex off to a party, threw a condom at him, and told him to make good choices.
We are actually the same person except with opposite genitalia, which are both incredible.
I fell asleep completely naked, standing up with my arms and head in the freezer
He put a doughnut around his dick and I ate it. What can I say. It was a good fucking night.
Only thing I have going for me is jacking off, weed, and saturdays
My roommate just angrily told the cat he should have knocked, but that's not lockdown madness. They're always like that.
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