I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
the only reason he called me tonight was because I fertilized his crops on farmville.
vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
Just saw a woman in bootie shorts and a winter coat at the library. God. Bless. Prostitutes.
Please tell me you're not playing strip poker with your cousins again
I've decided that buying my first unused mattress has been my first major step into real adulthood.
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
New low: uploading my contacts into Facebook in an attempt to get the name of the girl I brought home last night.
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
You waddled all the way home with your shoes in a construction cone. I'm glad to call you my Bestfriend.
I will not go because I am a man of my word and of my penis.
Randomize
