I was so high last night. I wrote a poem about my salt shaker
Sorry for scaring your son with my drunken animal impressions
in hindsight, the duct tape banana hammock was a bad idea.
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
pretty sure if my vagina had a mouth, it would have been smiling afterwards.
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
Judging by the fact that he asked me if i wanted to serenade him using cocaine and Taylor Swift I'd say I so have it in the bag.
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
YOU'RE FORCING ME TO BLOW A GUY BY NOT ANSWERING MY CALLS
Nothing shouts "I'm single" like a thousand needlepoint pillows.
Listen, if I miss the flight to Vegas because she's still rimming my ass, it will have been worth it.
I peed in front of kids, unfortunately
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
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