Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
Apparently I think casual Friday means I can show up unshaven in yesterday's clothes and reeking of booze.
i woke up, turned over, and noticed an assortment of knives stuck in my wall. i should prob stop drinking
grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
He got so drunk that he tried hitting on a girl using nothing but his Samuel L. Jackson soundboard application on his Iphone
i woke up with a wedding ring drawn on my finger...if this was vegas id be worried
We left an ass print on the piano.
I'm not leaving bed today. And i guess my drunken ass last night hit my roommate in the face with a tiki torch then proceeded to cry while carrying around a picture of he who must not being name. I'm a piece of work.
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
Getting a vibrator would be like waving the white flag of surrender in this war against my vagina and its hormone army.
there is nothing worst than getting kicked in the face by a stripper
Just high enough for therapy.
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
I DONT HAVE A FUCKING JOB RIGHT NOW. DO YOU THINK I HAVE TIME TO WASTE GOING BACK AND FORTH WITH SOMEONE WHOS LYING, ABOUT LYING, AND JUST BEING A LIAR? HONESTLY, YES I DO HAVE TIME. BUT I HAVE A FUCKING LOT BETTER THINGS I COULD BE WASTING MY TIME DOING. LIKE ORGANIZING MY POKEMON CARD COLLECTION.
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
Randomize
