would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
She volunteers at a homeless shelter. You volunteered to drink 7 day expired milk for $3. No chance. Give up.
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
The last bar we left there was a sausage stand right outside and I apparently felt bad those guys were working that late, so I bought a $9 sausage, gave it to some drunk kid and said "I support local businesses!!" I'd say I've done my civic duty.
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
I opened my eyes this morning, looked at the sunlight and made this hangover my bitch.
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
I kinda wanna Instagram the giant vag stain on my sheets. That is something to be proud of. It's a Christmas miracle.
I have good news and bad news. Bad news, she's not in porn. Good news, I found porn.
I'll have you know my trust issues and my daddy issues are two COMPLETELY different topics of conversation.
apparently I stole your wolf lighter. probably bc you made me howl while you puked over your deck railing.
I wrote myself a letter, like I think drunk me wants to be pen pals or something
He gives me the same feeling I get when someone puts a margarita or German chocolate cake in front of me
Your girlfriend agreed to a threesome, I saw dogs in a bar. It seems life is falling into place for us
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