it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
It was like my butthole was peeing. Felt comforting yet not fulfilling.
I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
It snowed today. The whore-inducing weather is official over.
Lesson Learned this Week... If it seems too good to be true he is probably just trying to get you pregnant.
Dude, didnt you only know that guy for a month and he is demanding offspring?
Apparently, at this age my womb is an early conversation
You would be married by May if you put half as much energy into getting straight guys as you do into getting gay guys
took adderall before wrapping presents, ended up making paper snowflakes for two hours
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
Ya he's alive. Apparently he's been drinking Naty and listening to Unbreak My Heart on repeat all day.
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
Can we just focus for a minute on the fact that I HAD MY FIRST LESBIAN ENCOUNTER.
Right. How rude of me to inform you that you're going to be an aunt.
So I just noticed that my last drunk google search before going to bed last night was "ghosts based on gays." I have no idea what that's supposed to mean
I have no inclination to even want to think about what God's existential meltdown is going to be like. O.o
I woke up at 2 AM to find them in my living room with a radio flyer wagon full of milk glass plates and a Holstein cow. How am I going to explain this to my landlord!?!
I think even the taco bell employees judged me
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