Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
the trash is collected at 5:50 on mondays. i was up puking all night and heard them
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
Sorry about the picture of wills balls via snapchat last night btw
Nothing says summer like lemonaid, but nothing says fuck yeah summer like lemonaid and vodkavodka
His friend still there? Be like "I need to see both of your dicks ASAP"
He also ordered me a vibrator last week, so the flowers kind of balance it out
Being in nursing school really pays off when your dealer tries to pass off naproxen as Percocet. Like I may have made a C in pharm but I aced the pain drug test
Yeah yeah I know I have to bring your dog back.
So many people have told me I have great tits tonight, I'm unstoppable
I screamed "You look like a guy I've fucked!" to your brother at a party... I have some explaining to do.
He came into my room last night and started peeing underneath my desk, I told him the bathroom was the next door over.
Nah, we’re just sitting around talking about different kinds of boners
Randomize
