I drank it, and now my boss keeps hitting me in the face with beams of light.
Tripping at your desk probably isn't the best plan you've had.
I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
Girls are like M&M's, once the lights go out you can't tell the difference.
so i'm just gonna leave my credit card in your mailbox so you can bail me outta jail.. deal?
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
and I'm sitting five inches from the tv scrunched up in a ball watching doug. It's like I'm five again...except I'm more stoned than the dude who created this show
THE BIG GAY MAD HATTER IS HERE AND HE HAS DRUGS IN HIS PANTS FOR YOU. COME DOWNSTAIRS BITCHEZZZZ
What has two arms, one testicle and no credit card debt? This guy.
No. I'm too high for this. I gotta focus my mind for my future Hooter's interview
Discovered that a nalgene holds an entire bottle of wine. Going mobile. Come find me.
Drink for every country you've never heard of.
Fuuuuuuuuuck
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
Right now I'm laying face down on my carpet in my living room in the darkness sending work emails from my phone.
It's a glamorous life.
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