Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
WHY DOES GOD HATE MY DICK
so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
I have a pocket in my purse that is just for condoms and cocktail swords. I feel like that speaks volumes about me as a person
High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.
I dont know what we smoked last night but I woke up and found out I started writing a book called White Trash Princess. Its the best thing Ive ever read
I've justified worse with less. I had sex with your brother because he was wearing a nice sweater
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
Every time I'm hungover I just want to watch Harry Potter and cry.
You wanna know what I want to eat? Questionable Mexican food before I go drink. Makes for excitement. Will I puke it up or shit my pants
you ate an entire watermelon by using a CD as a spoon, then proceeded to chuck the leftovers at some dudes car...
you took my virginity. you can't have my alcohol too.
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
Was cussing out our DD when one of the strippers takes him backstage. WTF
They call him magic hands is all I know.
Somethings are best left a mystery
When God closes one door, he opens up a taller, smarter, more successful door, with a bigger cock and nicer teeth.
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