I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
just brushed my teeth with a bottle of jack. ew. not all it's hyped up to be.
Superbowl and Mardi Gras a week apart. World's longest bender here I come.
She told me she cured her bulemia by popping hydrocodone after she ate. that way she would be rewarded for not puking. I like the way she thinks
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
stumble upon led me to how to make wine in prison, followed by wedding dresses. it knows my life too well
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
Remember that time we became friends because I shotgunned a Tall Boy in your bathroom?
Those memories are both hazy and awesome.
I think that's the key to being an adult though... Get those rapid fire beer shits out I the way early, then you can go about your grown man business
SHE GRABBED MY FULLY ERECT DICK IN A BAR AND STUCK HER TONGUE DOWN MY THROAT AND I COULD NOT CLOSE
No one's ever called me intergalactic cocksucker, before.
What does it say about me that I feel completely charmed right now?
I talked to the pizza guy for 10 minutes about my truck, I don't even have a truck
Beyoncé wouldn't let anything bad happen here
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
Am i obligated to tell my sister her girlfriend was my one night stand three months ago?
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