i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
i just recognized the girl sitting across from me from a lesbian porno... should i ask for an autograph?
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
i would eat my own dick if it were covered in nutella
there was a sad and surprising lack of "did strippers and blow" in that sentence
the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
There is a slip-n-slide in the hallway and a girl just did it topless cuz I told her it was my birthday. Where are you?
I didn't scare your mother by showing up on the roof, did I?
you don't know what its like to have your bartender tell you that you owe him beer money infront of your mother at 3pm on a tuesday
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
Celebrated the veterans I suppose, my mouth tastes of gin and black outs
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
he pulled my tampon string out with his teeth like a grenade pin yelling frag out! That's why I fuck guys back from deployment. They'll go the distance
I JUST SAW MY THERAPIST OUTSIDE OF WORK AND I DONT KNOW THE ADULT THING TO DO
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