K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
i told her my name was noah and she leans in and whispers "that makes me so wet." ive never been more thankful for the Notebook
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
Things I love twice as much when drunk: Taco Bell. Office chairs that roll. Classes.
you kept saying "no santa, im not having sex with you. it's not your holiday".
We need to stop sleeping with people based on which NFL team they like.
Apparently I covered myself in sunscreen before I went to bed. Im just assuming that due to the fact I found an empty bottle of sunblock
So it sounded like a midget was barfing IN our walls again this morning ...
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
Wake up. Pour coffee. Open blinds. Guy is skipping class and jacking off furiously to Asian porn. Close blinds. Finish coffee. So this must be what med school is like.
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
It might look like I curled my hair last night but it's just the jiz.
Randomize
