I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
For a whole 2 minutes you were convinced you were talking to my voicemail
I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
just got passed by a van of kids watching the little mermaid. debating speeding so i can watch
Didn't u have court just yesterday for ur driving?
IT'S THE LITTLE MERMAID! totally worth another year of probation
We almost died tonight..we almost die every night. but tonight was the closest by far
there's a guy looking for his pants in my room, is he yours?
Clusterfucked is a frowned upon word in work related emails
dude, i warned you that using a card to pay for my hotel room was a bad idea. You deserve the extra $600 in cleaning fees
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
I really care about you, but im still gonna have to make you pay for dinner from the pain and suffering in my knees and vagina.
I know it's like I wanna bring somebody fun who I haven't drunkenly expressed my feelings for. Or hooked up with. It's a struggle.
tom claimed she had a star tattooed around her buttonhole. i am not prepared for this era of skankyness
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
No like I actually peed on the treadmill. As it was running
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
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