I'm a big fan of 2 things right now: 1) Gatorade and 2) the fetal position
woke up with ski boots on and a kayak in my room... birthday successful? i'd say so
i just called corporate taco bell to ask about the life span of a chicken burrito.
Too bad my thesis topic isn't "defining a hot mess: a study in drinking, smoking and other bad life decisions."
I'm not sure what happened last night, but my turtle seems afraid of me.
Woke up today to the sound of church bells. My first thought was shit the apocalypse, but then I remembered my hook up lives next to a church. This might be a rough day.
We shot off some fireworks at 12 and then I orchestrated the group singing of god bless the USA all while wearing a don't tread on me flag as a cape. I repped hard.
Jumanji is 1000% better stoned while cooking breakfast.
HOW MANY BOYS NOT ONLY APPROVE OF YOUR PLAN TO BECOME POCAHONTAS, BUT WANT TO MAKE SURE YOU DO IT RIGHT? One, the answer is one, and he is the best and if anyone ever tries to steal him I can assure you they will never be heard from again
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
So i woke up this morning to find my boss passed out on my living room floor.. Awkward? Haha
He said we had an hour long conversation about how awesome I was.
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
Rationing the toilet paper. Only one wipe allowed. I'm scared to move too much.
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