Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
the problem with open bar is i never know what to get
did you really just start a sentence with "the problem with open bar is..."
The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join.
Dude, you bit through my nipple. Give it a week, damn.
My Yoga instructor is playing the music from 'Requiem for a Dream' it makes me very reluctant to put my ass in the air
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
My dating life has become some fucked up hydra of dicks; you cut one off and two pop up in its place.
She said, after pronouncing how sober she was, and I quote 'Take this bag, it's so heavy it's like 500 degrees! Wait, is it time to go? Can I run? I think I can run!' Then she ran away.
i refuse to give everyone the satisfaction of seeing the results of my acting on my thoughts
I just had to explain why I ate a whole quart of mac and cheese before 8am. Not a good start to the day
You are talking to me during sexting hours. Be careful, innuendos are taken seriously
He lives in a tent in my ex'd backyard. Why the fuck would you want any of that dirty dick?
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
Leave it to my mom and I to turn the hearing into a drinking game.
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