I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
Oh shit. I just had to lure him into the bedroom so I could take the list of his negative qualities off the fridge so he wouldn't see.
I was found on the hood of someone elses car... Who would've thought there were 2 white nissans?
i'm laying naked in your bed you should probably come home
move.
She's the only one so far who hasn't laughed at me naked.... I'm gonna marry her.
we tried to pick out bridesmaid dresses with pockets so we could sneak flasks in with us. what the fuck is the point of a dry wedding?
I've decided I'm either going to ease him into this breakup by having a threesome with him and the girl I'm leaving him for, or be brutal and fuck his room mate. it depends how nice he is tonight.
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
Sometimes I just want to serenade his penis with cheesy 80s songs.
I told him about the time I blacked out and shit myself and he still wanted to have sex with me that night. Feeling pretty optimistic about where this fling is going.
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life
And then you poured the rest of the vodka into salsa and added the alcohol soaked pineapples and grapes and said "don't touch my salsa breakfast".
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
The last thing I remember was them slipping shots into my beer bong, and me being happy about it
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