I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
In similar news, my cock is bigger than the plane that landed in the hudson.
I bought a bottle of 100 proof for the storm. I am going to drink until I pass out. I'm taking bets. 1:30 pm is the over/under.
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
Mattress luging...It's a long story.
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
Got serenaded to on the streets of Denver...the song was about a young banana that made really big decisions, got stds, and joined a gang. I think I like Colorado
Tell them to carpool to pride, have a 3way, and if one says 'no thanks' just tell em it's not gay if it happened in a 3way!
I dealt with the imported moonshine, but when the cocaine came out, I had to get the fuck out of there
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
Anyway. I unfriended all of these people like a grown up and I am never talking to them again
As I took my shirt off he commented on how great my boobs where. I responded with "thanks, I grew them myself"
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
He totally fucked me in his Chewbacca socks
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