And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
My phone auto-corrects smirnoff to poisoned. I think it is trying to tell me something.
The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
Is it sad that I woke up to more "Happy Holidays" texts on 4/20 than I did on Christmas?
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
FUUUUUCK she froze all my quaters inside the ice cubes again
god. I was just thinkin about the fact that there was a time in our life when we didn't drink.
Best case scenario: sex with hot bartender \nWorst case scenario: no sex and punched by tattooed guy that may or may not be said bartenders boyfriend.
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
We are actually the same person except with opposite genitalia, which are both incredible.
He was stoned laying on my bed singing I'm a little tea cup while I took a pregnancy test. Thank god it was negative.
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
He was gone for 5 minutes, opened the car door and said, "Don't eat my shit." and dropped Chipotle on the passenger seat. He was gone for another 10 minutes and came back with Coldstone. That stoned.
Randomize
