it doesn't mae me god, the fact that I am god makes getting dressed futile and tedious... btw i am still drunk
soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
Just spent the last of my lifesavings on (what i hope is enough of) alcohol. Hello summer.
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
Youre attempt to ruin my night by putting Date Rape by Sublime on my sex playlist failed. She was into it.
I have whiskey and jager. There's no telling what kind of monster will emerge
lost her for two hours. she was banging a russian guy in her car in the parking lot. he told her she was majestic.
Seriously??? You send me boob shots with your husband and kids in them???
he had hair everywhere except his balls
I feel as though my head has drastically changed shape
I wouldn't marry anyone who wouldn't symbolically fuck a doughnut with a sausage though.
Oh my god.. Saw a commercial for Captain Morgan. Made me gag a little bit.
I know. I know. He'll be weekday dick.
So um... You probably shouldn't post that picture of me and your crotch just because that's a new level of raunchiness that I'm not willing to accept yet
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