It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
So I got a little fucked up on the punch, and made out with the family friend. Which is apparently morally reprehensible. I don't get that.
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
shape ups are the best shoes to wear when youre stoned. its like walking on little trampolines every step.
he swears he got herpes from a bowl of soup
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
Of all the shitty people we associated with, you should be happy that I'm the one fucking your cousin. Sorry.
I literally just got propositioned by a sugar daddy.
OUR DREAMS ARE BEING REALIZED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Lets trade lives
And i will lay in bed and piss all over everywhere, drink whiskey and have sex with married bears
it's pretty awkward texting you how much I want to suck your cock when I have my mom on speakerphone.
On my way
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
His baby mama found the pictures of us, she couldn't see my face but she could see my asshole. So I'm safe.
At least life still wants to fuck me.
Randomize
