How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.
Just learned the hard way that dicks can bruise the back of your throat to the extent that you cant eat. You're dead to me.
Right now I can't do anything that will ban me from donating plasma. That is a legit source of income for me.
I met her tumbling down the stairs chugging Captain Morgan. I'm not sure why she has the better reputation either.
almost got into it with the cashier. bitch dont look at me like that just cuz im only buying wine and icing. ill fight.
Just make sure my intervention has a theme...
I couldn't sleep so I took 4 shots of vodka and promptly threw up in the sink. Happy Thursday
If there's one thing I learned yesterday, it's that if I really wanted to I could be mayor of Toronto.
I got so many dick pics last night. It was like a slideshow from heaven.
I'm tempted to randomly yell out 'SO HOW IS YOUR UNDERAGE GIRLFRIEND' but that would be callous
you left your anal beads in the dishwasher
this morning's inventory: a top hat, two empty bottles of everclear, half a slim jim, cigars, tiara, pot necklace, and some fishnets. and that's just my purse.
He walked in on me masturbating and on my phone but got mad because I wasn't watching porn just tweeting
I had Mac n cheese made with weed butter last night. Epic
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