Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
I got drunk and threw up on a kid at the amusement park. I think they're pressing charges.
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
I might have a beer. Just to keep this hangover on its toes.
there are way too many $1s in my wallet for last night to have been 'tame'
I had to have the lights off to hide my face. I was laughing so hard I almost peed in her mouth
I would like to apologize for making you the target of my "I wish head hair grew as fast as Pubes speech" the other night
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
you got us kicked out of the restaurant for trying to pee in the trash can.
Considering adding a large amount of vodka to my tomato cup-a-soup at work. Save me.
I actively tried geting in the guy's pants and ended up in the girl's. I'm bad at this whole straight while drunk thing.
I saw pigeons eating ur dried up puke today. Last night was fucking great
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
He said he doesn't "believe" in cuddling. Can you come get me?
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
Randomize
