I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
I was just about to go down on her when she gave herself a "smell check" and said "no, not today".
i feel like someone uncorked me like a wine bottle and pulled a living animal outta my arse.
i just snorted my name. best moment ever
She texted me and said she was fingering herself. Don't respond to this because she's the perfect girl. I'd love to smell her cell phone after that.
I assume you meant to text someone else on your contact list instead of your own mother...
Also, turning on the light this morning was a 3 step process. Way too hungover.
If I believed in "responsibility" and "having limits", I would probably say I consumed too much alcohol in the last 48 hours
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
My last 2 google image searches were 'a lot of pudding' followed by 'a generous portion of pudding'
I recently had a rabies scare because I thought putting socks on my hands to pick up a squirrel that got in my house was a good idea.
that is either the most profound and meaningful thing i've ever heard, or someone got high before noon again.
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
I've been on the cocaine and semen diet for the last 24 hours, lunch sounds great.
Randomize
