I'm drinking on the job... HEAVILY
I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
I just remembered we said the Lord's Prayer before we went out last night.
How does one fall all the way up a flight of stairs? Its hard on me knowing that the survival of our species depends on me not reproducing.
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
She came to the party dressed as slutty elmo and then called me oscar the grouch for not wanting to bang her in the dumpster outside.
she is way to in-touch with her childhood
It's one of those things you just need to see in person at least once in your life. Like Niagara falls or some shit. His ass is the Niagara falls of asses
you passed out while setting up your phones timer to time how long it would take before you to passed out.
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
I'm just gonna back away slowly and come back when there's less weird crap.
Because you put the dick in ridiculously amazing boyfriend. And you deserve to have nice things happen to your penis. That's why.
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
I feel awkward having to tell people “sorry you can’t finger me because I will get a UTI and I don’t have health insurance”
OMG OMG OMG Ive hit the penis jackpot
It seriously took everything in my power not to sleep with him
What did it come out and serenade you? Lol
It sang to me in the dark. It was magical
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