standing in the yard with no pants on waiting for google maps to come and take a picture.
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
Fuck Spring. The birds chirping at 4am make me feel unnatural for still being up and drunk.
ITS DAYLIGHT SAVINGS TIME SUNDAY EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE OK AFTER ALL
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
My goal is to go an entire semester without cocaine. That's an adult goal right?
Hey your work video crashed my computer. The 8 pornos running in the other window didn't. Congratulations.
AND ONCE AGAIN, MY VAGINA HAS STRUCK AGAIN. HER PLANS TO TAKE OVER MARYLAND ARE WELL ON THEIR WAY AS SHE CONTINUES TO ENGULF EVERY QUEER IN A 10 MILE RADIUS
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
I got titty fucked last night and you're breastfeeding your newborn. Clearly we have gone two totally different paths since 2011.
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
All because of that GODDAMNED MIKE PENCE.
Rum and your dick are involved. You're relying on the unreliable narrator.
Randomize
