my goal in life is to wake up with my underwear on
'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
He's sobering up. It was really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together.
Dude, I checked into a cathedral... I thought it was a joke, until I found a candle and a whole bunch of coins in my purse
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are.
For the record, rock bottom is where you start crying during porn because your ex used to slap your ass like that.. Continue on with your day now.
You peed on a pole and declared to a cop that it was your pole and yelled at him to not even look at it, and then yelled at all of us for looking at it.
I'm wearing sunglasses around my house. Douchebag status. The hangover is real.
do you think your dog feels awkward being in the background of your nudes?
Do you know anything about how the saran wrap ended up on my toilet seat?
New strategy for telling if someone is drunk: will they attempt to drink a candle if you put a straw in it?
Randomize
