thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
I just farted at work and tried to cover up the noise by shuffling papers around
sometimes i shoot so far i amaze even myself.
I just caught my mom fingering herself in the bathroom...Im moving out.
I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
They said "my eyes made me look intoxicated" ......we harassed them all night and we called the cops and told them that the bouncer that kicked us out was selling meth in the club ...and then we went to wendys
Yeah, she tried to drown her but then they hooked up.
I offered to buy ihop waffles for all the homeless people outside the metro. It was time to go to bed.
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
We have a bucket list tonight. Not done yet. Gotta climb a building
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
My bank account got hacked so he showed up with a 6 pack wearing a superman cape to cheer me up and you question why I love him?
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
You tried to eat your way through the wall. Like you literally tried to eat drywall and insulation.
he's fucking insane. he's worse than me. is that even possible? I'm only with him because his dick is huge. I need Jesus.
Randomize
