I'm at the doctor and the male nurse (haha) asked me if I smoked, drank or did drugs, and when he said 'drugs' he looked me right in the eye and did a perfect wrist rocket.
I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
If Billy Mays did an infomercial on your dick, it still wouldn't get you laid.
If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
At the doctor. They're doing a flu test now. He was like "where do you think you got this?" I said "bachelor party. Strippers." he goes "okaaaay I'll put 'other'."
"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
so i wake up and the chick who i had sex last night left her phone number. next to the number was a broken condom. should i call?
mom and dad sent me an easter basket full of beer pong supplies again.
they found her hiding behind the couch trying to feed a cabbage patch doll a bottle of tequila. please tell me she's on birth control.
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
I was afraid that she would smell her boyfriend's penis on my breath while we were talking.
Be my booze princess bebe. I'll rescue you from the lame tidings you are confined to up in the sober castle.
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
I can't take 'get a man' advice from you. You'll stick your penis in a warm banana peel.
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