you know you should just kill yourself when you are helping your 16 year-old sister get ready for a date and you're going out to dinner with you parents..
I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
Just learned the hard way that dicks can bruise the back of your throat to the extent that you cant eat. You're dead to me.
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
we spent fifteen minutes trying to convince you that you weren't locked inside of your car
I don't want to be with anyone who doesn't accept me for who I am. eating cheeseburgers in bed is my favorite activity.
Drunk me needs to be reminded of my sexual preferences.
at least it wasnt animals
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
Can you please help mom and dad? Theyre trying to figure out Skype, and its like 2 cavemen finding fire.
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
I need to calm my uterus...
I threw your vagina at him like a grenade. And sweet Jesus he caught it like a champ
He wants to buy me a wedding ring and pretend to be married to someone else when we fuck. It actually makes me wet thinking about it.
I'll be an awkward "I've had the grooms penis in my mouth" presence and we can party our nipples off.
Randomize