i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
you know you were refereeing rock paper scissors for who got to make out with your sister right?
yeah, and then after the convo was clearly over, my dad decides to scream "SIZE MATTERS" just to make things even more uncomfortable.
I just can't bring boyfriends home.
Sunscreen. In my vag. I hate summer sex.
Ladystoner tip: if eyes are bloodshot, lime green eyeliner makes them appear less red. its basic artt.
Chef at hibachi place learned it was my bday and sprayed 20 second count worth of saki in my mouth. Not sure it was the right image to share with my kids, but thought you'd be proud.
Its a first. Never been peed on in a line to concert. First time for everything.
She kept telling me it was a squirtgun.
He was running late for work this morning, so I helped him out by finding a matching pair of black socks. And I hated it. So I'm currently drinking and reminding myself of the reasons I will never get married.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
You will bone me until my eyeballs fall out. This is not a request.
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
Not my lover. I would rather lose all my teeth, and I fucking love my teeth.
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
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