she's like "i'm so proud of u" ... and then i threw up on myself
Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
he made me salute his american flag boxers before i took them off
my hangover today makes thursday's feel like a bubble bath.
i woke up and my collection of plastic neon wayfarers were half-melted in the microwave. my drunk self hates my hipster self
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
I drove to Chevron at noon and the Hatian lady goes "Oh, nothing to drink yet white boy?"
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
You chugged 6 beers in a row and then outed your boss at a party last night.
It was rough. I have dried puke in my hair and I don't know if it's mine or from the girl I met on the ground waiting for a cab.
The council and I are about to open up a bottle of malort.
UPGATe: THE COUNCIL AND I HAVE AGREED TO BAHN MALORT FROM THE HOUSEHOLD
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
IT'S A GIANT FUCKING ROBOT, DUDE. LOGIC IS OUT OF THE QUESTION BECAUSE AWESOME.
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