The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
The view from the bathroom floor this morning is fabulous
He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
HE COULDN'T FIND IT! WHAT KIND OF QUARTERBACK CAN'T FIND IT?!
It got a little outta hand when you wanted to do body shots on the table.. at Dennys.. at 4 AM.. with lemonade
Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
...Just between you and me I just did Olympic grade ribbon dancing with toilet paper in the bar bathroom.
1st rule of birth control pills: do not stop taking birth control pills. 2nd rule of birth control pills: do NOT STOP taking birth control pills.
Did i tell you my idea for my life plan? Not the one that involves stripping.
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
How do I carry myself in a way that says "I swallow"?
I offered the opportunity to grope my boobs for pints. Two girls took me up.
But the problem is you celebrate with your heart but I celebrate with my liver
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