If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
As im putting my laundry in the machine, i find a solo cup and a pong ball that i signed babe ruth
unrelatedly i think im gonna download boogie nights just to see mark wahlberg's penis
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.
I tried to roll down the stairs in a ball. I have bruises, the pain is too much.
What the fuck, why would you ever do that?
Haven't you ever just wanted to be a ball?
I spilt beer on the table, and she quickly got a straw and yelled party foul and made me drink it.
I keep getting the feeling him and his friends are hilarious and we should drink whiskey together forever
AND I HAVE A NICE COCK! A STRIPPER TOLD ME SO IT MUST BE TRUE!
Can you come get me? I woke up in the woods behind the Super 8. I have pizza.
had to remind myself that killing him is not a good career move AGAIN.
Randomize
