So for two years my friend Mark has been building a catapult in his basement. Yesterday he realized it's too big to get it out.
You need to give me a reason immediately why he is your friend.
someone owes me an orgasm
i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
Some dude gave me a questioning look as I came out of the women's toilet. I just responded 'blowjob' and he understood, then shook my hand.
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
I was blowing him while he was singing Happy Birthday to his girlfriend on the phone. I win.
I have way too big of a thanksgiving food baby to enjoy any of my old high school booty calls
Spending 4 hours in the emergency room today tells me that your birthday party was a success.
You were drinking whiskey from a beer bottle i dont know what you really expected...
So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
I rode home in a shopping cart so there's that. MVP to the guy that pushed it.
No way in hell. Unless I was drunk Tindering again....my swiping finger gets drunk too I guess
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
just made a presentation to 40 students and my professor about morals and ethical issues..still drunk. at 8am. I wish I could remember how it went.
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
Randomize
