that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
Question: If I woke up with one eyebrow mysteriously missing, do I shave the other one to match?
I decided that not getting a job after college is gods way of telling me I will make a great housewife
is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
Not exactly sure why you felt the need to get the halloween decorations out. But waking up to 7 carved pumpkins really scares the shit out of you.
This hickey is now green and covers half my neck. I have an alien hickey. I think he thought my neck was dinner.
I woke up naked on my couch playing a video game I thought I had dreamed about... oh yeah, and someone cut my hair.
I'll miss you, too. On the bright side, a night away from one another might give me a chance to recup seminal fluids.
I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea.....
We have an albino peacock in our apartment. It's beautiful.
Scratch it being beautiful, bitch just stole my McDonalds. Call animal control.
this morning's inventory: a top hat, two empty bottles of everclear, half a slim jim, cigars, tiara, pot necklace, and some fishnets. and that's just my purse.
Hey, what's the French word for when you meet your boyfriend's friend and you have that gut feeling that you smoked pot naked in a hot tub with him at a house party years ago?
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
Randomize
