i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
he asked me what things i liked that he did in bed, and i told him all the things i hated so he would use it on that new bitch and she wouldnt hook up with him anymore.
you for real need to get over him dude
i forgot i changed ur name in my phone to "the situation" so when u texted me i got really excited for a hot second
i thought we decided on me being "the altercation" instead
i realized our last day of finals is on cinco de mayo....it's god's way of saying drink ridiculous amounts of tequila and wear sombreros
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
So I fucked her. If you're keeping score at home, it's all tied up with horrible sex with someone I like and great sex with someone I hate both with 1.
Casually brushing the Bacardi out of my hair. It's a good time to ponder regretting everything that happened last night.
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
Desperate times call for desperate measures. But he promised me no small talk so that was nice
I am on my way right now and I SWEAR TO GOD IF YOU EAT MY BURRITO YOU WILL NEVER SEE MY TITS AGAIN
That was right around the time that the drunken mess pulled out his dick in front of myself and like 10 other people and started peeing all over the train platform while saying, "Sometimes a bear gets you brother. Sometimes a bear gets you."
Pretty standard Thursday night commute for you, no?
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Magyver!
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