You're a womanizer and a bitch.
it was the least impressive dick i've ever seen... and i've changed babies' diapers.
that's like riding a pigeon when you could fuck a bald eagle
He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
I lost my keys but found four buffalo wings in my pockets
I should have known our good time had gone to shit when his ankle bracelet started flashing.
You screamed "she never feeds them anyway" and threw the fish tank off the 3rd floor balcony. Don't park on our side of the building.
I couldn't figure out her damn button fly jeans... IM NOT A FUCKING ENGINEER
I think the old lady next to me at the bar just saw your pussy
Getting drunk and throwing things at people isnt the same with you not here. Remember when you dislocated my elbow and then popped it back in in one motion?
If you don't let me come over I'm gonna call you on speaker and you have to listen to her scream and moan too
no, but he did start crying. who the fuck is 30, covered in tattoos and crys about an ex? get your shit together, man.
Long story short if you're going to get drunk on a sailboat at night leave your phone in the car.
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
Randomize
