I should have known there'd be issues when he included "beautiful soul" in our playlist
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
Not sure if it is a new high or new low, but i left a basket on the porch of the sorority I woke up at. It had a description of the Minnie Mouse I woke up next to, and Plan B.
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
I need a "closed for the season, thanks for a great summer" sign for my vagina
I'm a gymnast. they should know better than to let me get dunk near anything i can flip on
When a guy wants to eat something off you and then comes back with microwaved strudel and custard, back the fuck out. I have apple-chunk burns on my tits.
Her craziness is the sexiest thing about her.
I can't wait to read your obituary.
I was at the pharmacy picking up my herpes medication and the pharmacist asked if I had any questions about my medicine, looked at the bottle, and laughed. Insult to injury man.
Yeah so then I used the selfie stick his mom gave me to take nudes
I don't know how I got home but I'm pretty sure the guy in my closet had something to do with it
Omg. I definitely just got hit on by my doctor AFTER he completed my pap smear which clearly showed I was in the middle of an outbreak. What. The. Fuck.
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
Randomize