That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
the truckdriver in the lane next to me just looked down and motorboated in my direction.
you tried to tell me that ice cream had no calories because they were "frozen"
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
Dude this stripper just dry humped the settings off my phone. She earned that dollar
she got kicked out of the bar for shoving german chocolate cake in the bartenders face. we were there less than a minute
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
Tomorrow after you go to the library to look up gay porn, I'm going to come to your apartment to paint a nude portrait of you. Get pumped, plopernickle.
you showed up at my door at 3am, handed me a bag of cold chicken nuggets and said "lead me to the non-irish Siobhans," do YOU think you were tripping?
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
It's always appealing to be able to say to someone "I banged your mom"
I need a fucking roommate.
You need a fucking babysitter.
This is bullshit, I shit my pants for the 1st time in 30 years, stuck on the 405, fuck this shit.
Depends
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