You should see what I'm doing to your stuffed animals
Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
I should just wear a shirt that says "Im Sorry" on the front because the second we land in Vegas, I'm going to be a fuckin trainwreck.
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
I may have pooped in your shoe. or somewhere else in your closet. its unclear.
Well some days you just have to get blackout drunk and try to speak Spanish to French Canadian strangers
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
we're a generation of lazy underachieving stoners and uncreative overachieving automatons. you're golden
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
He won't leave and I need to take a shit and vomit, quite possibly at the same time.
I'm actually more excited that I had so much sex this weekend that my ovaries hurt
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
Randomize
